What They Don’t Tell You About Having Kids

There have been many things over the years that I have figured out no one tells you before you have kids. But there is one thing that stands far out front of all the others.

You will NEVER go to the bathroom alone/uninterrupted again! You heard me…never. It’s absolutely impossible to not be interrupted while you are in the bathroom once you have kids. I wish someone would have told me this years ago. I would have invented a childproof force field to surround the bathroom for these moments.

If dogs have super sensitive ears that can hear high frequency, then kids must have a built in radar that sounds the minute mom walks into the bathroom. It never fails, sit down, feet shuffle and then you hear it…’mom, can I have this?’, ‘mom, he did that’. And it’s never something that couldn’t have waited 3 minutes. They could have told me before. They could have told me after. But no. They walk in at the exact moment I sit down.

The only thing that I have found that is worse than my kids bathroom radar, is the stranger at the doorbell radar. You know, when the doorbell unexpectedly rings and you are stuck in panic mode.

Who could that be? I wasn’t expecting anyone. I hope the kids don’t open the front door. It could be a serial killer. But wait, serial killers don’t ring the door bell. But wouldn’t that be the smartest way to convince someone you weren’t a serial killer? I guess if I was a serial killer I would want to throw them off. Ring the doorbell, they would never see it coming. Oh no, the kids are at the bathroom door again. They know there is a serial killer at the front door. DON’T OPEN THE FRONT DOOR!

See? Even when there is a serial killer at the door the kids still manage to show up when I’m IN THE BATHROOM!

So for all you new moms out there or moms to be, I just wanted to give you a piece of information that no one else out there gave me…

Kids, and serial killers, will never let you go to the bathroom alone!

One thought on “What They Don’t Tell You About Having Kids

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  1. Ok, now I’m totally freaked out! LOL. I’m a quick bathroom person. I actually “decorated” my husband’s bathroom b/c he spends so much time in there. There’s a plant, a beautiful framed photo, luxurious towels and a bathmat. I hope the kids and killers are after him and not me! HA!


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